Much to my own disappointment, I have seriously neglected Heart Sessions for the past few weeks. I’m still journaling like crazy, pouring out my thoughts and prayers, my dreams and my desires before the Lord for this one-time shot at “life”, but I haven’t found the words to share with all of you here….YET. It’s funny how that works…a million thoughts racing through my head, significant life changes all around me, new opportunities, new blessings, new mercies, and here I am, speechless. Utterly, speechless. Ever been there?
The truth is that I’ve found myself in an interesting predicament over the past few weeks, and God and I have had a few heart sessions of our own, if you know what I mean. Case in point, I like a good challenge every now and then, so a few months back I decided to pray for “new opportunities” (uh, not quite sure what I was asking for there). I love my career, but I wanted to challenge myself even more. I love life, but I just wanted to do it better. I love my husband, but I still haven’t cleared a path for him through the piles of clothes on the floor in our bedroom. I want so badly to be a mom (I’m told I’m losing eggs by the second), but God keeps telling me, “Not right now, cool it, relax, chill, you’re a spaz (nah, He didn’t really say that), I have some other things for you to work on right now.”
So…I said to the Lord, “Bring it! I’m ready! Just point me in the right direction! Yahoo! Guns a blazing!”
Word to the wise…be careful what you wish for…
Honestly, I think I was looking for new opportunities to serve others, to give more of myself, to grow, to be challenged and everything in between. All good stuff, right? Right. Well, there were just so many decisions to be made, and when you only get one chance at life (like we all do), every decision counts. Every. Decision. Counts. If there’s one thing I’ve discovered in my young lifetime, it’s this powerful truth.
So, as I prayed, I truly began to see new doors opening and new opportunities began to present themselves. Then, my workload doubled, then tripled, and what I should have been over the moon for instead left me feeling overwhelmed, overbooked, and out of balance and…drumroll please…. STRESSED. Ugh, I just hate saying the word, but stress it is.
No lie – I started breaking out, which just doesn’t happen, not like this anyway. I was feeling anxious right down to the pit of my stomach, and my eyes started twitching and have been doing so for about 3 weeks now. Yeah – twitching! Weird, I know. I Googled it. Do you know what is the most common cause of eye twitching…..stress. Eeek! Not me, no way. I’m cool, calm and collected, or so I’m told anyway. I guess it was all a little too much even for busy, little me. So, I decided to take this twitching business before the Lord, and He so gently and lovingly reminded me of a little something…
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? Matthew 6:25-27 (KJV)
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Matthew 7:7-11 (KJV)
Jesus said it so well, didn’t He? There are always going to be worries and things that threaten to bring unwanted stress, but when I come before the Lord and I truly take in His Word and His promises, I am reminded that there is no need to worry because I am a child of His, and there is no safer place in this world than belonging to God and having the profound privilege of calling Him Father.
The more I pray, the more I realize that those new and good opportunities can remain the blessings that they were meant to be not the stress buckets that I’ve turned them into, if only I will quiet myself enough to hear the Lord speak and be willing to set all things aside for His presence in my life first and foremost. It’s when I get caught up in all that I’m doing that I lose focus and fail to tap into the Power Source I need to get all of it accomplished. Today, in the midst of tight deadlines, busy schedules, and an overwhelming workload, I am humbled and reminded that I can do anything through Jesus Christ and that my heavenly Father always has my best interests in mind as I keep my eyes steady on Him.
So…today, well, today is an excellent day because I am loved, I am protected, and most importantly, I am a child of the Creator of all things, and He will take care of me. How could I possibly keep that good news all to myself?!
But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ. Philippians 3:7-8 (KJV)