Self Improvement or Something Like It

First of all, I would be remiss if I didn’t take the time to mention that my hubby and I took our little bean sledding for the first time this past weekend.

It was a gorgeous winter afternoon, and the snow sprayed our faces (maybe a little too much) as we went sliding down the hill.  I think the Bean liked it too, but I couldn’t tell from her expression as her giant, puffy jacket swallowed up most of her face…

Plus, we had the good fortune of celebrating with my brother Steven and his lovely bride Amanda as they got married this past weekend.  They had a small wedding at a charming little bed and breakfast, and it really was perfect.

Congratulations, you two crazy kids!

In other randomness, I woke up a couple of weeks ago (February 7, 2013, to be exact) to a bright and shiny inner revelation.  I woke up and for the first time in a good two years, I felt that old familiar nudging that TODAY is the day to tackle a little self improvement…

or something like it.

It felt as though the beautiful layer of fog that has been my atmosphere since my baby girl was born and probably even further back to when we first began our home renovation, was finally being lifted.  Of course, I’m still sleepy/sleep-deprived/longing for sleep/still whining about it as I write this, and yet life is, indeed, still beautiful.  However, I most definitely have a new fervor to do a little refining work on yours truly.

I even announced it to my boss the other day.  He said, “That’s great, Nikki.”

I’m sure he was ecstatic.

What I think he meant was, “So, you’ve been in a fog, running at half capacity for the past two years and you decide that now is a good time to work on it?  And I’m paying you for this because???”

My husband even took notice and wanted to know, “What’s with all of the blogging lately?”

(I know, right?!  It’s like I can’t stop talking!)

I think I responded with something profound like, “I dunno.”  Grunt, grunt.

In all honesty, I don’t have the slightest clue where my new found motivation has stemmed from.  Perhaps, the good Lord found my programming to be boring and decided to turn up the volume and add in some background dancers to jazz things up a bit.

I really don’t know.

BUT (I use a lot of BUTS…have you noticed?), but I feel good…and motivated.

For now.

So, I’m just going to go with it.

Get this, I even cleaned my room last night, too.  Let me tell you why this is significant, shall I?

Well, I’m fairly diligent about keeping my kitchen scrubbed down and shiny clean.  I disdain when my kitchen is a mess, so I will typically stay up late cleaning it, making my countertops sparkle, etc.  What does this have to do with my bedroom, you ask?

Well, now that I’ve made myself feel better about keeping my kitchen clean, I now feel safe in admitting that my bedroom is a completely different story.  It’s my (and my husband’s) clothes-land-where-you-may sanctuary.  Life is busy, and our bedroom is just that space where the whole there’s not enough time in the day or I just don’t have the energy to put my clothes away culminates in once place.

OR, you may also recognize it as bad feng shui.

Whatevs.

Here’s the exciting news, though, yesterday was that day that inevitably comes where I can’t take it anymore, and I did a mad cleaning of our master suite.  I use that term liberally, by the way.  BUT, I’m telling you, it looks awesome!

So I have to ask myself, “Why in the world don’t I keep it looking like this on a daily basis?”

Therein, lies my next level of self-improvement…keeping my bedroom that peaceful sanctuary that it’s meant to be.

Next up on my list of random self-improvements is getting back on the exercise train more consistently.  It’s not that I don’t ever exercise.  It’s just not as often as I would like.  So to give myself I little kick in the butt, I even signed up for a running race right here in frigid Minnesota for the second weekend in March, and I’ve even taken it upon myself to train for it.  Can you believe it?!

This next one is a doozy.  Hold onto your hats, gang…

I’ve decided to give up Facebook for the next 30 days (and maybe longer). Haha!  Yeah, right.  Nikki made a funny.

NOTE: I first typed up this post a few days ago and have already experienced an epic fail with cutting out Facebook.  Although, I think I did go an entire 2 days (WOW, right?) without knowing what the world was doing with every second of everyone’s day.  I did cave eventually because I was asked to post some family pics.  Excuses, excuses, I know.

Anyhoo, for the couple of days that I did just check out from all things social media, I discovered that life was, in fact, more focused, more productive and overall more PEACEFUL.

Soooo, maybe I need to take these little breaks more often…

Right after I publish this blog post. 🙂

Anyhoo, like I said, I love all of it, but I just really need to be better about checking out from time to time. I need to be fully present in my life right now, so I’m really embracing giving this a go.

That being said, I’m curious to see how I’m able to make better use of the time I do have.

My hope is that I’ll have more time to read my Bible and journal, that I’ll have more focused discussions with my husband rather than each of us coming up for air from our iphones, that I would have more time to clean my house and maybe, just maybe that I would even scrounge up a little more energy time to add in for more exercise.

Case in point, this morning was a really good morning.  My husband and I were just visiting about work and life and all that good stuff in our clean bedroom.  Did I mention I cleaned our room?  It’s clean.  It really is. Anyway, we were talking away while we were getting ready for work, and Chloe was there with us playing with her toys.  Well, we talked so much and were so relaxed that we both lost track of time and ended up heading out for work much later than planned.

It was good stuff, though.

Those moments when we really focus on the people in our lives and we stop to look up and to listen and to  fully engage in the moment.  These are the kind of moments I want to take the time for in my life.

I’m not going to lie, I really love life, and I’m comfortable at the moment.  All cushy and cozy even.  While I’m breathing in all the goodness and thoroughly enjoying the moment, it’s easy to get too comfortable, and “too comfortable” is two doors down from “complacency”, and complacency is pretty darn good friends with “apathy”, and I really dislike apathy.

So, self-improvement, here I come!

I am completely humbled and thank God everyday for this place I’m at right now, but I never want to quit striving.  I could spend a lifetime trying to improve myself, and I would still fall short, but I’ve realized that it’s far too easy to become complacent and comfortable, and there’s just so much more to life than sitting back and just letting it pass me by.

I want to do better.  I want to be better.

Here I go!

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